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Category: Local News
Aren't we all a bully once in a life?
Tags: movie tv, tmnt2419 points, 377 comments.
Another pedo caught red-handed yet again
Tags: awful, wtf510 points, 138 comments.
The worse he can said is no
Tags: anime, wtf, relationship1374 points, 102 comments.
Malcom X peering out of his window after receiving seve...
Tags: awesome9615 points, 946 comments.
Six inches
Tags: funny1438 points, 207 comments.
10yo Dutch girl stabbed in Gothenburg while visiting re...
Tags: wtf9778 points, 1996 comments.
No, Lena Dunham Did Not Use The N-Word In Front of Dona...
By Keegan Kelly Published: March 07th, 2023
Imagine people are annoyed with you because you are pas...
Tags: henry cavill, the witcher, netflix2573 points, 290 comments.
Something happened again in Russia. The mayor asked the...
Tags: russia, latest news2956 points, 325 comments.
His success is his failure
Tags: Random2103 points, 177 comments.
Keanu\u2019s genuine reaction to the success of his AMA
Tags: wholesome, Keanu Reeves9021 points, 290 comments.
‘History Of The World: Part II’ Was Better When It Was ...
By Matt Solomon Published: March 07th, 2023
200 Human Rights Groups Urge U.N. To Intervene Over U.S...
Almost 200 human rights organizations are urging the United Nations to intervene to ensure the United States protects reproductive...
Here you go guys, first time in a while I've had wood i...
Tags: Funny, pc, stupid4238 points, 237 comments.
Realistic Lofi Girl
Tags: wtf, awesome6130 points, 174 comments.
Look how they massacred my girl
Tags: clown world, woke, tmnt14597 points, 1660 comments.
I mean...
Tags: politics9943 points, 538 comments.
Lobbying
Tags: clown world, random, politics6653 points, 387 comments.
Picking up his buddy from the airport
Tags: funny17097 points, 134 comments.
It works
Tags: hair10054 points, 188 comments.
Strong Hand
Tags: scary movie, wtf, awesome9896 points, 188 comments.
Old but Gold
Tags: cultural enrichment2865 points, 331 comments.
The Oscar-Nominated Director of ‘Tár’ Co-Starred in Con...
By JM McNab Published: March 07th, 2023
4 Defunct Historical Companies Worth More Than Any Mode...
By Eli Yudin Published: March 07th, 2023
Sometimes An Earthquake Is Just Pete Davidson Driving I...
By Matt Solomon Published: March 07th, 2023
New section idea: `Old cars that dont look old and aged...
Tags: car, lotus, design4521 points, 1340 comments.
15 Riveting Items of Trivia That Fell Into Our Laps Thi...
By Ryan Menezes Published: March 04th, 2023
15 Trivia Tidbits About ‘Trailer Park Boys’
By Zanandi Botes Published: March 04th, 2023
Every Purposefully Corny Joke from Norm Macdonald’s Com...
By Dan Fritschie Published: March 04th, 2023
How Hugh Grant Found New Life in Guy Ritchie Action-Com...
By Zanandi Botes Published: March 04th, 2023
Best Retired South Park Characters — And If They Should...
By Maxwell Yezpitelok Published: March 04th, 2023
Jeff Bridges’ Dude-est Roles That Aren’t The Dude
By Zanandi Botes Published: March 04th, 2023
Does It Really Tie the Room Together?: Three Interior D...
By Brian VanHooker Published: March 05th, 2023
The Humble Last Wishes of Famous Figures That We Comple...
By Ryan Menezes Published: March 05th, 2023
15 Trivia Tidbits About ‘Happy Gilmore’
By JM McNab Published: March 05th, 2023
Here’s What You Need to Know About Chris Rock’s Live Ne...
By Keegan Kelly Published: March 04th, 2023
An Octopus-Loving History Buff Is Taking Over TikTok Co...
By Keegan Kelly Published: March 05th, 2023
Five Eyebrow-Arching Credits on Mel Brooks’ Résumé
By JM McNab Published: March 05th, 2023
Furious Chris Rock Vents His Own ‘Selective Outrage’...
By Matt Solomon Published: March 05th, 2023
Pre-‘Saturday Night Live’ Sketches That Showed the Geni...
By Matt Solomon Published: March 05th, 2023
‘We’re Really Glad We Cut Out the Other 60 Minutes’: St...
By Brian VanHooker Published: March 06th, 2023
5 Historical Fashion Trends Caused By Gross Diseases
By Amanda Mannen Published: March 06th, 2023
The 25 Greatest Comedic Performances That Weren’t Nomin...
By Tim Grierson Published: March 06th, 2023
‘Saturday Night Live’s ‘Serial’ Parody Made the Podcast...
By JM McNab Published: March 05th, 2023
Brendan Fraser Comedies, Ranked
By JM McNab Published: March 06th, 2023
We Converted to ‘Dudeism’: What It’s Like to Follow ‘Th...
By Brian VanHooker Published: March 06th, 2023
15 ‘Seinfeld’ Characters We Should Have Seen More Of...
By Eric Dobin Published: March 06th, 2023
5 Perfectly Clear Examples of Interspecies Communicatio...
By Eli Yudin Published: March 06th, 2023
At 96, Mel Brooks Is ‘Deliriously Happy’ to Still Be in...
By Keegan Kelly Published: March 06th, 2023
Morpheus and Neo Want to Make A Comedy That’s Not ‘Matr...
By Keegan Kelly Published: March 06th, 2023
'That's As Funny As Any Another Show': N...
By Keegan Kelly Published: March 06th, 2023
‘They Were Getting a Little Cookie-Cutter’: Eugene Levy...
By Keegan Kelly Published: March 06th, 2023
The Hidden Office Comedy in ‘Friends’
By Zanandi Botes Published: March 06th, 2023
Jim Gaffigan on Doing Clean Comedy, Being a Serious Act...
By Tim Grierson Published: March 07th, 2023
5 People Who Impersonated the Police with Terrifying Su...
By Ryan Menezes Published: March 07th, 2023
Oscar Jokes That Got Comedians in Big-Time Trouble
By Matt Solomon Published: March 07th, 2023
15 Hall of Fame Groaner Jokes from Neil Hamburger
By Dan Fritschie Published: March 07th, 2023
'History Of The World: Part II' Was Better Wh...
By Matt Solomon Published: March 07th, 2023
A Comedy Only Wins Best Picture When It Follows These R...
By Tim Grierson Published: March 07th, 2023
15 Trivia Tidbits About ‘Family Guy’
By Zanandi Botes Published: March 07th, 2023
The 10 Funniest Best Picture Nominees This Century
By Tim Grierson Published: March 07th, 2023
Covid-Era Food Stamp Benefits End
The expansion of SNAP benefits, also known as food stamps, that were put in place during the height of the Covid-19 pandemic is en...
What To Know About ‘Hogwarts Legacy’
Two weeks after its release, Hogwarts Legacy has become one of the fastest-selling video games of all time, despite controversy su...
Filthy, Grease-Covered Boyfriend Left To Soak In Kitche...
PASO ROBLES, CA—Noting that she had procrastinated cleaning him for so long that he had developed a thick, impenetrable layer of g...
European Space Agency Proposes New Time Zone For Moon
The European Space Agency proposed a new time zone for the Moon, saying there is a need to establish some synchronicity in how we ...
Sex-Related Injuries That Could Send You To The Hospita...
Making love can often be far more dangerous than expected. The Onion examines sex-related injuries that could send you to the hosp...
CPAC Audience Encouraged To Reach Under Chair To Be Gro...
WASHINGTON—In an announcement that drew enthusiastic applause from the influencers and supporters in attendance, audience members...
City Finally Safe After Every Single Resident Hired As ...
CHICAGO—In a rousing success story that has eliminated all criminal activity from the streets of the metropolis, Chicago was final...
U.S. Adds $19 Trillion In Debt Attempting To Win Toy Fo...
WASHINGTON—Jeopardizing its creditworthiness and standing on the global stage, the United States has so far added nearly $19 trill...
Tiki Bar Just The Right Amount Of Racist
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Man Sets World Record Visiting Disneyland Nearly 3,000 ...
A 50-year-old California man has been certified a Guinness World Record holder after visiting Disneyland nearly 2,995 times in a r...
High Cost Of Child Care Forcing More Toddlers To Work T...
WASHINGTON—According to a new report released Friday by the Center for American Progress, the high cost of child care is forcing m...
CPAC To Feature Exhibit Where Visitors Can Toss Raw Chi...
WASHINGTON—Advertising the event as a chance to interact personally with a conservative icon, organizers confirmed Thursday that t...
Woman Fact: Did You Know?
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Bathroom Attendant Offers Man Sticker For Using Potty A...
MIAMI—Insisting that the patron had done such a good job that he deserved a reward, bathroom attendant Ron Carlton reportedly offe...
Ron DeSantis Rails Against Woke Pants For Making His As...
TALLAHASSEE, FL—During a rally in which he decried the cut of his suit as yet another example of political correctness run amok, F...
Women Explain Why They Became Tradwives
The tradwives movement, which has recently exploded on TikTok, is composed of young women who espouse the joys of adhering to trad...
Eric Adams Leaps Off Empire State Building Wearing Home...
NEW YORK—Declaring that he and he alone could save his city from the forces of evil, New York Mayor Eric Adams was spotted Friday ...
Black Employees Board Up Break Room Against Ravenous Ho...
ITHACA, NY—Barricading themselves for safety against an onslaught of seemingly brain-dead colleagues with outstretched hands, Blac...
Most Controversial Statements By CPAC Speakers
The Conservative Political Action Conference kicked off this week. The Onion examines the most controversial statements made by CP...
Week In Review: March 5, 2023
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AI Chatbot Obviously Trying To Wind Down Conversation W...
SAN FRANCISCO—After it dropped clear hints that it wanted to end the back and forth of the artificial conversation, sources report...
New NFL Combine Drill Tests Player’s Ability To Half-As...
INDIANAPOLIS—In an effort to gain a fuller picture of prospective players and ensure they would be good fits for the teams that dr...
Stable, Content Woman Only Has A Few Months Left Before...
SPOKANE, WA—Letting out a gratified, peaceful sigh as she sipped her morning coffee, local stable, content woman Gina Dore reporte...
Man Finally Mature And Loving Enough To Be Good Partner...
WELLS, ME—Noting that his significant growth had prepared him for a real relationship, local man Will Davenport confirmed Monday t...
Questions That ChatGPT Is Not Allowed To Answer
The infamous AI program ChatGPT has been given various ethical safeguards to prevent it from answering inflammatory, dangerous, or...
Prince Harry, Meghan Markle Asked To Vacate U.K. Home
Buckingham Palace has asked Prince Harry and Meghan Markle to vacate Frogmore Cottage, a 17th-century manor on the grounds of Wind...
Eric Trump Placed In CPAC Lost And Found
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U.S. Government Coyly Denies Involvement In Anything Na...
WASHINGTON—Flirtatiously winking and calling the assembled reporters a bunch of “silly gooses,” the U.S. government coyly denied i...
Biggest Lies Norfolk Southern Has Told East Palestine R...
Since a train carrying hundreds of thousands of pounds of toxic chemicals derailed in East Palestine, OH, railroad executives have...
Netflix Announces There No Way In Hell It Giving Biden ...
LOS GATOS, CA—In a statement confirming the 46th president of the United States would not be providing it with so much as a voice-...
Japan Discovers 7,000 New Islands It Didn’t Know It Had...
The Geospatial Information Authority of Japan recently revealed an updated map of the nation showing 7,000 new islands added to th...
Thoughts Every Woman Has Had In The Workplace
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CDC Issues Dire Warning That Nick Cannon Is Feeling Hor...
ATLANTA—Cautioning Americans against the continuing outbreak of fatherhood among the popular television host, representatives from...
Walgreens Clarifies Stores Still Selling Plenty Of Hous...
DEERFIELD, IL—Responding to backlash over the pharmacy chain’s recent announcement to cease offering abortion pills in some Republ...
New Study Finds Hightailing It Still Most Popular Way O...
ANN ARBOR, MI—Following a comprehensive, decade-long survey conducted by human mobility researchers at the University of Michigan,...
Jimmy Carter Beginning To Worry That He Will Never Die
PLAINS, GA—Alarmed that he might live indefinitely, former President Jimmy Carter reportedly began to worry Tuesday that he might ...
Congress Considers Banning TikTok After App Makes Every...
WASHINGTON—Unveiling a potential bill aimed at combating what members described as a grave risk to public safety, Congress announ...
Tennessee Bans Drag Show Performances On Public Propert...
Tennessee’s governor signed a new bill that bans “adult cabaret entertainment” on public property or in locations where it can be ...
Man Too Chickenshit To Blow Up Oil Refinery Guesses He’...
DALLAS—Neither bold nor committed enough to enact true environmental change, local chickenshit Anthony Stanback decided Tuesday th...
Mathematician
Tags: Random14303 points, 489 comments.
Is this the Future?
Tags: ai, random, wtf35053 points, 784 comments.
\u201cWow look at this boss car\u2026 wait\u2026\u201d
Tags: Funny9638 points, 485 comments.
Amazing
Tags: science6395 points, 573 comments.
Hard to look away
Tags: girl7568 points, 264 comments.
Nosey neighb\u00f6urs
Tags: video6578 points, 226 comments.
The insane cost of a pizza plus salad when fees are inc...
Tags: awesome3218 points, 766 comments.
He said \u201cidk let\u2019s try\u201d
Tags: funny8947 points, 468 comments.
A teacher got stabbed by her student, she later died of...
Tags: wholesome6304 points, 525 comments.
Proper way to use a chainsaw
Tags: funny9608 points, 383 comments.