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200 Human Rights Groups Urge U.N. To Intervene Over U.S...
Almost 200 human rights organizations are urging the United Nations to intervene to ensure the United States protects reproductive...
Covid-Era Food Stamp Benefits End
The expansion of SNAP benefits, also known as food stamps, that were put in place during the height of the Covid-19 pandemic is en...
What To Know About ‘Hogwarts Legacy’
Two weeks after its release, Hogwarts Legacy has become one of the fastest-selling video games of all time, despite controversy su...
Filthy, Grease-Covered Boyfriend Left To Soak In Kitche...
PASO ROBLES, CA—Noting that she had procrastinated cleaning him for so long that he had developed a thick, impenetrable layer of g...
European Space Agency Proposes New Time Zone For Moon
The European Space Agency proposed a new time zone for the Moon, saying there is a need to establish some synchronicity in how we ...
Sex-Related Injuries That Could Send You To The Hospita...
Making love can often be far more dangerous than expected. The Onion examines sex-related injuries that could send you to the hosp...
CPAC Audience Encouraged To Reach Under Chair To Be Gro...
WASHINGTON—In an announcement that drew enthusiastic applause from the influencers and supporters in attendance, audience members...
City Finally Safe After Every Single Resident Hired As ...
CHICAGO—In a rousing success story that has eliminated all criminal activity from the streets of the metropolis, Chicago was final...
U.S. Adds $19 Trillion In Debt Attempting To Win Toy Fo...
WASHINGTON—Jeopardizing its creditworthiness and standing on the global stage, the United States has so far added nearly $19 trill...
Tiki Bar Just The Right Amount Of Racist
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Man Sets World Record Visiting Disneyland Nearly 3,000 ...
A 50-year-old California man has been certified a Guinness World Record holder after visiting Disneyland nearly 2,995 times in a r...
High Cost Of Child Care Forcing More Toddlers To Work T...
WASHINGTON—According to a new report released Friday by the Center for American Progress, the high cost of child care is forcing m...
CPAC To Feature Exhibit Where Visitors Can Toss Raw Chi...
WASHINGTON—Advertising the event as a chance to interact personally with a conservative icon, organizers confirmed Thursday that t...
Woman Fact: Did You Know?
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Bathroom Attendant Offers Man Sticker For Using Potty A...
MIAMI—Insisting that the patron had done such a good job that he deserved a reward, bathroom attendant Ron Carlton reportedly offe...
Ron DeSantis Rails Against Woke Pants For Making His As...
TALLAHASSEE, FL—During a rally in which he decried the cut of his suit as yet another example of political correctness run amok, F...
Women Explain Why They Became Tradwives
The tradwives movement, which has recently exploded on TikTok, is composed of young women who espouse the joys of adhering to trad...
Eric Adams Leaps Off Empire State Building Wearing Home...
NEW YORK—Declaring that he and he alone could save his city from the forces of evil, New York Mayor Eric Adams was spotted Friday ...
Black Employees Board Up Break Room Against Ravenous Ho...
ITHACA, NY—Barricading themselves for safety against an onslaught of seemingly brain-dead colleagues with outstretched hands, Blac...
Most Controversial Statements By CPAC Speakers
The Conservative Political Action Conference kicked off this week. The Onion examines the most controversial statements made by CP...
Week In Review: March 5, 2023
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AI Chatbot Obviously Trying To Wind Down Conversation W...
SAN FRANCISCO—After it dropped clear hints that it wanted to end the back and forth of the artificial conversation, sources report...
New NFL Combine Drill Tests Player’s Ability To Half-As...
INDIANAPOLIS—In an effort to gain a fuller picture of prospective players and ensure they would be good fits for the teams that dr...
Stable, Content Woman Only Has A Few Months Left Before...
SPOKANE, WA—Letting out a gratified, peaceful sigh as she sipped her morning coffee, local stable, content woman Gina Dore reporte...
Man Finally Mature And Loving Enough To Be Good Partner...
WELLS, ME—Noting that his significant growth had prepared him for a real relationship, local man Will Davenport confirmed Monday t...
Questions That ChatGPT Is Not Allowed To Answer
The infamous AI program ChatGPT has been given various ethical safeguards to prevent it from answering inflammatory, dangerous, or...
Prince Harry, Meghan Markle Asked To Vacate U.K. Home
Buckingham Palace has asked Prince Harry and Meghan Markle to vacate Frogmore Cottage, a 17th-century manor on the grounds of Wind...
Eric Trump Placed In CPAC Lost And Found
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U.S. Government Coyly Denies Involvement In Anything Na...
WASHINGTON—Flirtatiously winking and calling the assembled reporters a bunch of “silly gooses,” the U.S. government coyly denied i...
Biggest Lies Norfolk Southern Has Told East Palestine R...
Since a train carrying hundreds of thousands of pounds of toxic chemicals derailed in East Palestine, OH, railroad executives have...
Netflix Announces There No Way In Hell It Giving Biden ...
LOS GATOS, CA—In a statement confirming the 46th president of the United States would not be providing it with so much as a voice-...
Japan Discovers 7,000 New Islands It Didn’t Know It Had...
The Geospatial Information Authority of Japan recently revealed an updated map of the nation showing 7,000 new islands added to th...
CDC Issues Dire Warning That Nick Cannon Is Feeling Hor...
ATLANTA—Cautioning Americans against the continuing outbreak of fatherhood among the popular television host, representatives from...
Walgreens Clarifies Stores Still Selling Plenty Of Hous...
DEERFIELD, IL—Responding to backlash over the pharmacy chain’s recent announcement to cease offering abortion pills in some Republ...
New Study Finds Hightailing It Still Most Popular Way O...
ANN ARBOR, MI—Following a comprehensive, decade-long survey conducted by human mobility researchers at the University of Michigan,...
Jimmy Carter Beginning To Worry That He Will Never Die
PLAINS, GA—Alarmed that he might live indefinitely, former President Jimmy Carter reportedly began to worry Tuesday that he might ...
Congress Considers Banning TikTok After App Makes Every...
WASHINGTON—Unveiling a potential bill aimed at combating what members described as a grave risk to public safety, Congress announ...
Thoughts Every Woman Has Had In The Workplace
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Tennessee Bans Drag Show Performances On Public Propert...
Tennessee’s governor signed a new bill that bans “adult cabaret entertainment” on public property or in locations where it can be ...
Man Too Chickenshit To Blow Up Oil Refinery Guesses He’...
DALLAS—Neither bold nor committed enough to enact true environmental change, local chickenshit Anthony Stanback decided Tuesday th...
Understanding the Tax Laws and Regulations is Crucial f...
Understanding The Tax Laws and Regulations is Crucial for Real Estate Investors By Tiffany McBroom and Melanie Sikma Real estate i...
150: How Peter Nukasani Flipped the Script On the Land ...
The post 150: How Peter Nukasani Flipped the Script On the Land Flipping Business appeared first on REtipster.
149: How Ray Zhang Went From Homeless to Millionaire Wi...
The post 149: How Ray Zhang Went From Homeless to Millionaire With His Land Flipping Business appeared first on REtipster.
10 Rock-Solid Reasons Why You Should Be Investing In La...
The post 10 Rock-Solid Reasons Why You Should Be Investing In Land appeared first on REtipster.
151: Note Investing 101: Learn the Ins and Outs of Crea...
The post 151: Note Investing 101: Learn the Ins and Outs of Creating Predictable Cash Flow w/ Eric Scharaga appeared first on REti...
Learning the Language of Land Investing: A Beginner’s G...
The post Learning the Language of Land Investing: A Beginner’s Guide to Common Terms and Definitions appeared first on REtipster....
NAR Calls for Applications to Its 2023 Volunteering Wor...
Applications Open for 2023 Volunteering Works Program The grant and mentoring program matches mentors with REALTORS® com...
REALTORS® Relief Foundation Launches 2023 Annual Fundra...
RRF Launches Launches 2023 Annual Fundraising Campaign The annual initiative aims to raise $5 million this year to provi...
Nearly Nine in 10 Metro Areas Posted Home Price Gains i...
Most Metro Areas Posted Home Price Gains in Q4 2022 Single-family existing-home sales prices climbed in almost 90% of me...
NAR Calls on Realtors® Who Give Back to Apply for the 2...
Applications Are Open for the 2023 Good Neighbor Awards Five winners will each receive a $10,000 grant for their nonprof...
Pending Home Sales Improved for Second Straight Month, ...
Pending Home Sales Up 8.1% in January In the second straight month of growth, contract signings registered the largest m...
NAR Supports Newly Announced Reduction of MIPs
NAR Supports Newly Announced Reduction of MIPs FHA's announcement strikes an appropriate balance between assisting homeo...
Existing-Home Sales Descended 0.7% in January
Existing-Home Sales Descended 0.7% in January Existing-home sales waned for the twelfth consecutive month in January 202...
NAR Demonstrates the Many Ways Realtors® Are Here for C...
The Many Ways Realtors® Are Here for Clients The campaign demonstrates the many ways Realtors® are “here for it all,” wo...
More Americans Own Their Homes, but Black-White Homeown...
U.S. Homeownership Up, but Black-White Gap Persists U.S. homeownership rose to 65.5% in 2020, but the gap in Black-White...
NAR Supports Passage of SECURE Notarization Act
NAR Supports Passage of SECURE Notarization Act The National Association of REALTORS® issued a statement of support on M...
Mortgage Mix: Lenders Report Mixed Results in Q4 as Rat...
Editor’s Note: The Mortgage Mix is RISMedia’s weekly highlight reel of need-to-know mortgage-industry happenings. Watch for it eac...
Buying a House on Disability Benefits or SSI
Know how to navigate the system so you can find the home you're looking for.
Real Estate Agent Commissions: How Much Should You Pay?
Can sellers negotiate how much commission they pay real estate agents? Surprise: They can!
How to Buy a Vacation Home in 5 Steps
Turn your getaway daydreams into reality - this guide will walk you through it, step by step.
6 Smart Ways to Build Home Equity
Want to create wealth through homeownership? Build equity.
Want to Rent Your Vacation Home? Beware These Lender Ru...
When it comes to financing your vacation home, not all loans are created equal - so choose wisely.
How to Modernize a Split-Level Home
Breathe new life into a dated split-level with these tips - you have more options than you might think!
Investment Property: How Much Can You Write Off on Your...
Learn how to navigate the tricky tax laws around investment properties, including ways to save.
